Moved into my first big girl spacious 1 bedroom love love love it started dating me neighbor seemed like a brilliant plan, turned out to be not so brilliant after all big surprise right. The long and short of it is we went out a few times had some not so great something something and something else let’s just say his hammer is not the biggest one in the shed, oh but it get’s better.
The neighbor invited me to a Dodgers game fun right or so I thought? So we all head down there neighbor me and neighbor’s friend and friend’s girlfriend, out of all the fun bars I can think of to go to on sunset before the game where do we go the scariest dive bar I have ever seen in my entire life I mean it has bars on the door and it is so dark and smoky on the inside you can’t even see a foot in front of you. While the guys are 5 beers deep yuck and neighbor starts smoking double yuck I am not about to kiss an ashtray I am sorry… I strut myself up to the bar praying the have patron and lime and throw one back then order myself a margarita thank you god for giving me the gift of patron… the poor little friends girlfriend looks at me wanting one so I proceed to buy her one fun times… When we finally make it to the game at least I have a nice little buzz going on I tell neighbor it would be fun to get a matching Dodgers hat when we get to the store there are so many cute one’s the colors are blue and white perfect with my silk blue top and white seven skinny jeans I find a cute one show it to neighbor and you know what that mother fucker says, “$30.00 that’s way to expensive I bought mine for $5.00, I’m not buying that for you,” cheap ass, oh wait it get’s better so we continue on to the game he can’t even buy me a beer have to borrow money from his friend go buy it by myself, after the game we are walking back to the car he leaves me to walk with the girlfriend, she looses me I am at the Dodgers stadium parking lot in a sea of cars by myself drunk, it’s like really neighbor so fun this security guard in a car comes up to me, “oh honey are you ok,” neighbor is screaming at me on speaker phone how can you not remember where the car is parked I’m like are you fucking kidding me there is thousands of cars here such bullshit I would have left him right there if I didn’t have to be back in Santa Barbara by 8am the next morning. Oh and to too it off I had to hear the hole ride home I am the one with all the drama and he doesn’t need me and all this bull crap such a cluster fuck I can’t even tell you
On top of all that neighbor has single handedly decided to befriend all my friends on facebook oh yes. And when my friend sent out a party invite for her boyfriends daughters 2nd birthday party he single handedly decided to attend the party taking his niece without me to my friends party which I could not attend yes you herd me right, keep in mind he has met my friends once…weird right….. How the hell do I meet these guys???? Awkward
No comments:
Post a Comment